#whenever I've talked about it lately it's just been
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[Sif has been looking at you weird for a while...] "Isa." [CRAB!!!] "Uhh, Yeah Sif?" [He's looking straight at you, his eyes piercing you to your bones. He looks kinda creepy like this... Reminds you of all the times you found him reading late at night with his flashlight eye.] "You mind if we talk for a second? Alone." "UMM. YEAH SURE SIF." [CRAB CRAB CRAB CRAB CRABBBBBB] "Are you alright, Isa? I've noticed you doing some... things. You're acting more- There's really no other way to say it, Isa you've been acting dumb. Acting like you're just 'really lucky' whenever you find a key that we need. I know you, Isa. I know you aren't stupid. You're really smart actually, and I know something is up. So what is it? Can I help?" [CRAB CRAB CRAB WHY IS HE ASKING THIS NOW????] "What do you mean? I really have just been getting lucky?! I don't know how I would know where the keys are, I've never been here?!?" [You feel awful lying to them.] "Right. So you finding the switch to the Death Corridor trap instantly isn't something strange? You always trust me to handle traps, and yet you immediately put your hand out in front of me and stopped me before I could look around, and then hit the hidden switch. I know I only have one eye, but that was really well hidden." "But how would I know where it was beforehand? I just had a feeling."
"I don't know Isa, but I know that people with 'a feeling' still jump at massive falling rocks! And I know that people with 'a feeling' don't just nonchalantly strut into The King's chambers and talk before Odile gets a chance to talk to the man who froze her entire home. I know people with 'a feeling' don't grit their teeth hard enough to shatter. Don't act like nobody noticed that either, maybe the others didn't but I did." [!!!] "But, that'd be impossible, right? It's impossible to have been here before-" "Is it? Because you sure seemed to have a few theories! You knew to ask me about Wish Craft, to ask me to read those books! You knew that I could wish properly, you didn't have an inch of doubt on your face when you said how I taught you. You knew that a wish could have given The King the ability to harness Time Craft. Don't think I believed you when you said you didn't wish for anything. I know you're indecisive, but you aren't going to just ignore something I told you either. I know you wouldn't just listen to me tell you how to wish and not bother with it. You aren't callous. [If only he knew... If only he knew how callous you were!]
"I..." "Isa, I know you're not stupid. And you know I'm not stupid either. If I see something, the only thing I can do is observe for more. And all signs right now point to you. Did something happen? Is that... Is that why you're looping in time? Did-"
"Oh Siffrin... Why? Why did you have to figure it out now? Why couldn't you have figured it out before? Why couldn't you have never figured it out?" "Isa, I-" "Can't you see? It's too late now. Nobody can help, now. It's already too late. Because I was too much of a coward to try and ask for help. Because I was too much of a coward to tell anyone about the loops! Because I was too much of a coward to say anything! Because I was too much of a coward to tell you how I feel! Especially you, Sif. I'm too much of a coward to tell you how I feel about you. And I'll never get that chance. Because it's already too late. "..." [He's just staring at you with a scared expression. Or at least its probably scared. Whatever. It's too late anyway. You coward.]
"...So what is it? Can I help?" "Nope! Was that all?"
[Sif seems... sad, at your response.]
"Alright. I'll miss you Isa. Come visit me sometime on your travels, okay? It'd be a shame if I couldn't look at the stars another time with you."
Roleswap Sus event combos Everybody gets a turn being the suspect and the suspectee! Nobody enjoys the experience, though.
#isat role!swap au#researcher sif and traveler isa have very 'doomed yaori' vibes#i love them both so very much#they are so very vibes#sorry if any of this doesnt correlate well with the au i just needed to do it cuz they're both so ooouggghhh#/pos#popsie writes
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DATING HAN LUE HEADCANONS
pairing: han lue x reader
word count: ~2k
warnings: 18+, no smut perse but mentions of it, language, not much really, this is pretty tame
a/n: hello there! it's been a while since i've written for this lovely man but i recently found this on my notes and figured it's a good time to finish it. this was a request i got a while ago, it was by an anon so anon if you see this, i got you!!
the request only asked for dating headcanons so there's not much plot in here unlike the waitress one.
i feel really bad cause i got my han girlies on my inbox asking for more han content and i've been jumping from fandom to fandom. i just need the last movie to come out to fuel the love i have for han.
enjoy <3
Han is a man who prefers long term relationships. Amongst a life full of chaos he relishes on those relationships he can lean back and find calm and comfort, someone he can rely on.
Doesn’t mean Han's not into hook ups though. Whenever he’s single he’ll have his fair share of one nights stands. At the end of the day he's a man with needs, especially since he loves putting his life on the line.
Han he keeps people in boxes: friends, off limits, hookups, and relationship material. Of course there’s also that box with bright red letters that spell TOXIC. Most people in that box are one night stands that thought they stood a chance after a hookup and became a little unhinged.
Whenever Han finds that person that is relationship material he doesn’t let them go. He’ll pursue them in his cool and nonchalant way. He’ll compliment them so smoothly they won’t notice until much later.
Han will invite you out to do random stuff, wording it as 'errands' and it’s only in the middle of it that you realize it’s a date. Lunch followed by a scenic walk in a park in Tokyo and then dessert? Definitely a date. It’s perfect because it takes those first date jitters out of the way.
You fall in love with him way too quickly and Han knows when you do. It's your own fault because once you realize you're head over heels you become this mumbling, blushing mess.
It was a smooth transition from friends to dating to being in a relationship and it's all because of Han. He's great at reading people and it helped him ease your nerves and figure out how you were feeling with every outing.
With entering a new relationship there's a period of getting to know the other person. Han is an open book, he doesn't see the point of hiding anything with the girl that might be his future. You either accept him as he is now or you don't and that's the end. He has nothing to hide although he tiptoes around his late teens.
When Han tells you of his life as a fugitive you don't believe him. You laugh in his face. Like, “Yeah, sure. You pulled off a heist in Brazil and stole from the richest mafia man with your posey of misfits. Hilarious.” Han shrugs and moves on.
You could've googled it but you don't. You just think Han had a rough upbringing he doesn’t like to talk about. Which is partly true but not the case. It comes to bite you in the ass afterwards.
Moving on, Han is not a fan of pecks on the lips. If it’s not a kiss that lasts more than 5 seconds don’t fucking bother. He’s an all or nothing kinda man, you know?
I mean it’s not like Han will fight you if you do but it's visible how he's left wanting more. You’ve learned your lesson the hard way. You’re in a rush and to say goodbye you quickly peck him on the lips and then Han will pull you back in and plant a good kiss in, successfully making you even more late.
That being said Han adores kisses on the forehead or temple or back of the head. Han will randomly walk up to you while you do chores around the apartment and press a kiss to the back your head with his hands on your hips. Then he’ll walk off like nothing happened, leaving you all ☺️☺️.
Dating Han includes spending nightfall in each others arms. Resting in the increasingly comfortable sofa and raking your fingers through his hair, coaxing him to stay in.
"Do you have to go out, Hannie?" You whisper, scratching on his scalp making him shudder.
"I told them I'd be there." Han's response is muffled as he gets more comfortable, his face pressed against your breasts.
"But do you have to?" You insist as your other hand goes to scratch his back.
"I guess I can stay in and see them tomorrow night," Han sighs as he relaxes even more against you. He's far too comfortable and this cuddling will soon evolve into something much more exciting by the way you're hanging on to him.
For a time there Han pauses his life for you. He stops going to the races and ignores the calls of the Toretto crew to nurture your growing relationship.
By pausing Han completely ignores that other part of his life leading the Toretto gang to come to Tokyo. It’s not like Han meant to ignore them he was just enjoying his time with you so much that he didn’t realize how much time had gone. We’ll get into that later.
Han is not one to argue a lot. If you’re annoyed at him for one reason or another he’ll take it and try to distract you. Whether it’s by calling you a sweet nickname or holding you or kissing you.
But if it’s about something that puts you at risk Han will put his foot down. You went out with your friends late at night and walked home alone? Unacceptable. Do you know how many sickos are out there? That's when real arguments form because you can be so stubborn and independent. You can handle yourself. Han trusts you fully, it's the outside world he doesn't trust.
If you prioritize your job instead of your well being? Nope. Han will have to step in. Hell you don’t have to work if you don’t want to. He has enough money for the two of you. The idea of being taken care of like that is so tempting but you do like having your own life and money.
Sleepy, morning ‘I love you’s.’ That’s when he says those three words the most. You typically wake up before him so you’ll play with his hair and trace your fingertips on his back to softly wake him up.
It's mid morning and you've just woken up. You turn in bed to find Han sleeping on his stomach, his long hair covering his eyes and tickling his cheeks.
You brush the hair away from Han's face, tracing your fingertips over his face to softly wake him. You'd typically let him sleep in more but you had plans for the day and he insisted in driving you around.
He starts to stir and softly groans. Your hands go to his naked back, because he loves when you do that. "Good morning, handsome."
"Morning," he says, opening his eyes and looking at you. His voice deeper and rougher than normal. He clears his throat and pull you to him, kissing your head and muttering an, "I love you."
"I love you, more," you say, kissing his chest before wiggling out of his arms, "Time to get up, you promised me to take me to brunch before going to the grocery store."
Han will absolutely let you drive his precious car. Whenever you want to for as long as you want to. Doesn’t matter if you scratch it or pop a tire. He can fix his car no problem. As long as you're safe he's all in for it.
Will silently get off on you driving fast and changing the gears of the car expertly. At that moment Han is a spectator and you're the show. He understands all the other girls he's either been with or hooked up with and how they got turned on at him driving.
Driving a fast car is sexy.
Han is the kinkiest yet softest lover ever. He will try anything at least once but is not into the harsher parts of BDSM. Spanking and bondage is okay he sees the appeal and he likes it but not the crazy parts of it. Han's favorite position is when you ride him. Not reverse cowgirl though because he likes seeing your face and your chest bouncing. He loves your expressions and hearing the curses that slip from your lips.
Han is a slut for long, messy make out sessions. The one's that start slow and then build up. His tongue in your mouth or his in yours he doesn't have a preference. Your hands in his hair, pulling on it. Wandering hands but not going anywhere. The ones where when he pulls away there's a string of saliva between you two.
I'm sorry but Han is a handsy man. In public he'll hold back so he'll keep a hand on your hips or waist, an arm around your shoulder is more common though. If he's being cheeky he'll grab your ass in public. In private though? Oh, hands always on you. Hand on your ass, hand on your tit, on your thigh, always a hand on you.
Han loves to buy you clothes and lingerie. He takes note on what clothes you like and will buy you a bunch of those but will also buy you clothes he would go crazy seeing you wear. He will demand you model them for him.
Clothes like a little black dress, four or five inch, expensive, high heels, lacy lingerie sets. You will model them but then you'll end up in his bed, clothes still on.
Han is quiet in public but in private, with you? That man loves to yap, especially when you get him to talk about things he's extremely passionate about. It's hard to get him to shut up.
Han won't succumb to his friends teasing him about the fact that his whipped, or a simp, oor any nonsense like that. He has you and he loves you. There's nothing to be ashamed of.
The day Domenic Toretto knocks on your shared home is the day you're thrown for a spin.
Han is right behind you greeting one of his closest friends. He introduces you two happily, urging Dom to come in and take a seat.
You stay right besides Han in the couch across from the big man. You've heard a lot about Dom and it's all been great things. You're just shocked at the surprise visit.
They make small talk until Dom says, "We need your help, Han."
"Anything, Dom."
When Dom leaves you're too quiet. Han approaches you, giving you a look, "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong? This man just came here to ask for your help in a secret mission to take down this dangerous mercenary. How do you think I feel?" You exclaim overwhelmed at what was discussed.
"You sound very surprised. I told you about Brazil and my past," Han cocks his head curiously.
"I didn't think it was real, Hannie!" You yell, "I thought you had a rough upbringing and this was your way to joke and cover it up."
"I'm sorry," Han apologizes, pressing his forehead against yours.
"Are you really doing this?" You ask, scared of what might happen now.
"I have to. They need my help," Han responds, cupping your face in his hands. There are tears in your eyes, afraid of the new reality. Gone are the days of ignorant bliss.
"What about me?" The question was heavy and loaded. You only asked one question but there were hundreds in disguise.
"I'll be back in no time. You will stay here and stay safe, alright?"
Han left early the next morning. He woke you up with a hand on your cheek and another in your back. Han gave you a long, sweet kiss and whispered 'I love you.'
You were left at home with all this new information, your computer to google Brazil, and time.
ta-daaaa. i hope you guys enjoyed this. i know it's not a lot but i feel like i would be repeating myself since dating han headcanons is very much like the waitress headcanons, except without a plot.
i'm trying to get back into writing for han it's just a little hard since i feel like all my fictional crushes are pulling me apart, begging for my attention. my love for han is always there it's just not string enough to make me sit and write a lot. it's why i need this movie to come out asap.
you guys have been so patient so thank you for that. in any case i hope you like or enjoy some of my other work while i try and bring back han <3
#fanfiction#han lue fanfiction#han x reader#han seoul oh#han lue#han lue x reader#fast and furious fanfiction
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Suddenly hit with the unfortunate realization that I have fallen out of love with Arknights
#not a reblog#arknights#whenever I've talked about it lately it's just been#''oh I still love Arknights of course#but [lists five gazillion problems I have with it#and reasons I have stopped playing]#But I'll at least come back for the Sui events!''#and only now did it occur to me that like#if playing it feels like a chore#and the story feels like a chore#and all the extra modes and features feel like a chore#and none of it is even slightly fun anymore#except for one very specific ongoing storyline#that only comes around once a year#then maybe I don't actually still love it#and it's just sunk-cost fallacy speaking#because I loved what it started out as#but not what it's turned into#i miss when I thought the reunion-vs-rhodes-island plot had something worthwhile to say about oppression#i miss heart of surging flame and grani's treasure#i miss when the gameplay was fun and didn't require surtr or holungday for everything#i miss when nearl was actually cool#i miss when the emphasis was on powerful women#and i miss when CC and SSS and whatever else weren't a thing#modules were the final nail in the coffin though. one thing too many to keep track of#i just miss Arknights#I guess there's still the anime at least#even if it suffers the same story problem of having to relegate the central political themes to subtext to avoid getting in trouble#and the time constraints of eight 20 minute episodes per season to adapt all the bloated textwalls#but still. its something at least
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Happy Cicero Sunday! How are u? ^_^ -⛄
I'm a day late!! Noooo!!!
To answer your question, I am doing fine :D I know this blog has been silent for a while now and the fic has been on a brief hiatus, but rest assured I am working on it still!! My goal is to get an update out sometime between now and this Saturday o7
#posts made by rae#posts made by bees#hello again dearest snow at the beach#if anyone is curious as to why i've been kinda MIA#i'll talk about that in the notes of the chapter#whenever i get to that#I AM FINE THO#sorry i made it sound like the ao3 curse got me#my mental health is also okay it's mostly just a skill issue#and a bit of scheduling hell#so you know#the usual#actively working on finishing this chapter now o7#happy mind monday btw#since i was too late for sunday ;-;#its been a busy weekend for me rip#q&a#me and my arbitrary tagging system#was secretly waiting for a big reveal where i was like#BOO IM NOT DEAD HERES A NEW CHAPTER#but i figured you might just like to know that im still all good#especially with all of the times ive mentioned how not good im doing#rip
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oh the initial d fandom is quite alive here...
edit: i am scared of the amount of people finding this post
#angryborzois rambles#i'm sorry laugh at me all you want but I've been thinking about this series lately#its been years so i hardly remember anything from it by now but i just remember it was interesting#despite the fact it's been so popularized as a meme#but omfg#a few months ago when i was watching gojos past arc#my dad heard tojis voice#and just looked at me and said#“that's takahashi ryousuke”.#which is a guy from initial d who was briefly a rival of the mc (i think...i dont remember anymore)#like wtf how did you recognize his voice#and whenever i watched jjk.. every time toji would talk my dad would just look at me and say “takahashi ryousuke”#so now whenever i hear tojis voice#my brain automatically goes “takahashi ryousuke” too#it's ingrained in my head#FDKJS
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hi! how do you. describe characters so you don’t just use pronouns like 37 times in a row
(Especially when characters all use the same pronouns 😭)
omg ok wait this is one of the hardest things ever. i hate using like descriptive words like "the blonde man" "the taller one" etc because it just like icks me out for some reason so usually i just use character names often and then switch to pronouns. it can still get vague or confusing sometimes so then i try to just reorder the sentence/phrase it differently
#i hope this is what u meant by the question btw 😭#lmk if its not#but yeah whenever i'm rereading to edit i'll be like wait who is saying this.... and then i just end up using character names excessively#which sucks but i'm getting better at making it clearer i think#it's one of those things where you improve with time#nya talks#my asks#also sorry about all the asks i've been neglecting lately.... esp the anon ones#i pinky promise i'll get better at answering them#N I PINKY PROMISE THE NEXT PART OF BFOP IS COMING OUT SOON ive gotten so many questions ab it GIRL IM TRYING TO GET IT OUT I SWEAR 🙏
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playing Pokerogue is uh. actually fundamentally changing the Pokémon part of my brain. because why the hell did i- the person who has always played Pokemon for fun, collecting little guys, and for story reasons- playing Pokemon SoulSilver once again yesterday, think about how competitively viable certain moves were and how that would benefit my team's power. what the hell. who put this guy in my brain who tells me about what abilities and moves are good and bad for my Pokemon team
#void keith talks#i'm having a lot of fun actually???? that's the weird part#turning on all the “easy” settings is making it easy for me to learn what does good and bad and when to use certain things#is it a slow process? oh absolutely. i'm still very bad competitively lmao#it's really interesting too! because i've gotten major fatigue lately on anything pokemon related. even though it's my longest-lasting-#special interest. i've just been so tired of all the new things going on and i haven't been super motivated to catch up on anything canon#but a fan game i can easily catch up on and play whenever i want to? because it's not really about the story? oh HELL yeah#pokemon#pokerogue#pokemon game stuff#pokemon fangame stuff#pokemon fan game stuff
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i've been wondering if overuse of the internet stunts your emotional growth. i don't mean to be mean but a lot of grown adults on basically every faction of the internet speak in a way that's indistinguishable from my teenage classmates.
like i genuinely don't mean this in a rude way but have there been studies done on it? because i think that would be interesting to read about.
#i don't even talk about feminism here anymore. so many people followed me only to discover i post once a week asking for sources#lately i've been doing a lot more in-person work and its so much more fulfilling to actually help people than to post on the internet#and now whenever i log on i feel like i'm sitting quietly in the corner as my classmates yell at each other#so it feels so much more counterproductive to be online when i could be racking up more volunteer hours#i just touched so much grass and now i feel like i'm surrounded by teenagers all the time
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I never get it when Death Grips fans go on and on about how "everyone finds Death Grips unlistenable the first time they listen to it but then it grows on you" because I do not have that experience in the slightest. I listened to Takyon and got into it pretty much instantly. Funny because usually I have to listen to songs more than once for me to start liking them but the supposed "grows on you" music was an instant click
#not jojo related#music#sorry i'm talking about DG so much. hope that's not um... a red flag considering what DG fans tend to be like#you guys tagged me in all of those music tag games and now i can't stop running my mouth sdjfksdlfj#i feel abnormally confident in sharing my music taste lately since i'm usually really reserved about that#i've always gotten made fun of whenever i share music and now i got really into Death Grips of all things#i don't even think my music taste is that weird but IRL whenever someone lets me pick a song in the car i freeze in horror#unless they're a very close friend or my dad who i like to torture (he's one of those middle aged dudes that only listens to classic rock)#(according to him i listen to ''psycho shit''. so.)#i have been on a bit of a music listening spree in general recently. just listened to some MF DOOM records#and then The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill (and now i've been playing Lost Ones over and over these past few days lol)#sometimes i wish i could listen to all the music ever#rambles
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There are honestly times where I would question if Vivian is even an interesting OC to interact with, because while she is an eccentric girl, she’s also very much a character more so geared towards slice-of-life interactions, and due to this being the case, I manly prefer writing her in her modern verse.
Of course, I do happen to have other verses for her, but people oftentimes don’t really request them ( /stares at the one time a DND multi followed me but didn’t even request her Granblue Fantasy verse ), so by natural default, I end up using my modern verse anyways... regardless, I get the sense that because she’s such a normal human being, people aren’t as drawn to her as they are to other muses? Because with her, there’s no conflict, action, or drama that might happen with supernatural or non-human muses, and if there does happen to be conflict or drama, it would be more so the realistic kind revolving around her hypersexuality or how she might be at odds with someone as an autistic individual with rejection sensitivity.
To top it all off, Vivian is also kind, so she won’t be mean to other muses without an actual good reason... so whenever I see memes with confrontational/argumentative prompts, I inwardly sweat, due to the fact she is mostly a very agreeable person who would rather chat with someone over coffee than intentionally cause conflict, meaning if a muse has yet to make her mad, she won’t really do anything to provoke them.
Like, unless they happen to be a jerk or has a personality she deems boring, Vivian would more or less be nice (at least until they get pissed off by her sense of humor/blatant disdain towards ‘normies’)... and even then, I get the sense that maybe her kindness comes off as boring to other muns, which really puts a whole damper on my mood, because I don’t want to change Vivian to be more palatable for the RPC.
#vent tw#rant tw#negativity tw#⸾ ❖︎ ⸾ ( OUT OF ) ⤹ •• 𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟.#[ ofc i acknowledge vivian wouldn't be EVERYONE'S cup of tea ]#[ and the fact people are slow might just have to do with the fact everyone is busier at this time of year ]#[ but i notice how abysmal the amount of engagement i've been receiving has been lately ]#[ that OFTENTIMES it feels like i'm screaming into the void whenever i talk about vivian ]#[ at the same time though i do acknowledge it could be due to the fact i rarely express interest in other peoples muses ]#[ but it's hard when you're autistic and the only thing you constantly have spoons for when you get back home from work ]#[ is to talk only about/focus only on your own oc ]#[ due to the fact it happens to be what you're MOST hyperfixated on ]#[ liKE... as much i would wanna interact with more peeps ]#[ the things i wanna write are very self-indulgent ]#[ and my ooc attachment to muses is really dependent on how much vivian actually interacts with them ]#[ SO I'M PARANOID OVER HOW I'M PROBABLY THAT (1) MUTUAL EVERYONE IS SECRETLY TIRED OF ]#[ BUT KEEPS AROUND ANYWAYS BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT HURT MY FEELINGS BY BREAKING MUTUALS WITH ME ]#[ and so i'm in that weird limbo of having super high muse for vivian but also feeling undervalued/invisible in the rpc ]#[ AS IF NOTHING I DO WOULD PROBABLY MATTER ]#[ tldr though?? writing a female oc is hard and it could be just my imagination ]#[ but everyday it feels like people are losing interest in vivian and i don't know how to rectify that ;; ]
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biting and killing and biting and killing
#just need to vent a little. here we are in the tags as per usual.#SO my avoidance of people has gotten A Lot Worse Lately#and my severe fear of rejection is making it so i can't even mention i got tickets to a concert some of my friend are going to in our gc#because i feel like that's Wrong and Bad and will make me Evil if i do it#because i'm stealing attention and manipulating them into spending time with me#which i can recognise is. a bit of an irrational response.#but i'm just SO FRUSTRATED with myself#i haven't told like half of my friends i'm moving in two weeks because i haven't seen them irl#and whenever i talk to people in real life i chronically overshare and cannot force myself to shut up and it's BAD#no matter what way i do it i always end up doing it wrong#i just want to Connect with people and Be with them but i can't do it!!!!#my social anxiety is still So Bad and i'm beginning to think it may be a part of a bigger issue#i've been questioning having avpd (avoidant personality disorder) for a while and i'm gonna talk to my therapist about it when i see him#because i have been Repeatedly Validated that it is Okay to talk to my friends but i physically can't do it without having a panic attack#and that!!! is something i want help with!!! because it feels bad!!! but i can't Reach Out!!!!!!!!!!!!#luckily i have plans to see a lot of them irl on wednesday so hopefully i can talk about some of this stuff then#but until then i just have to exist in my silly little isolation purgatory#at least i'm rewatching rvd and it's so good. currently on killing thee mr honey#i think i will go get a little snack and keep watching my show and do some uquizzes and then try to sleep#i had like a 3 hour nap today so it's okay to be up a little late#this has fully just turned into me journalling but it's okay this is my blog
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hey sorry for saying the wrong thing i wasn't socialized properly at the shelter. tbh i didn't even know there was a wrong dialogue option but apparantly there was and now you're all silently ignoring me and i'm here wondering what i should've said instead
#idk i always feel like im saying the wrong response in irl conversations lately#and idek what im doing wrong i just reply the way i always do which is find something related to the topic at hand and mention it#but it always fades into awkward silence after that and i realize that was probably not what they were looking for#like there was some other common thread i was supposed to follow instead of this one#and normally i feel like ppl are more chill abt going along with it or rerouting the conversation back or whatever#but now it's just awkward silence that makes me wanna scream#idk how to do casual conversation like the point of conversation for me is to find something that i can Talk about#like a fun lil fact or my favorite things. just something that lets you dig deeper and actually have a convo abt something you care abt#but lately whenever i do that it feels like im being shut down. and im not rlly sure what changed. is it just the ppl here? the environment?#all i know is that im dying to have an actual sincere in depth conversation and everyone here seems allergic to it.#idk maybe i should just shift gears and see if i can find other ppl like me here or just focus on friends outside my program#just. idk how to talk or relate to normal ppl. and maybe they'd take offense to that but idk how else to describe it#i need to talk to ppl who are Weird and Freaky and Fucked Up#and ik everyone's going through their own shit and everything but i don't think these ppl are on the same level of fucked up as me#idk this was a pretty random vent but I've been having trouble socializing with ppl lately#i think i should just stick to surface level stuff instead of trying to dig deeper#bc first idk if there even is something deeper to dig into. and second i don't rlly trust these ppl to be myself around them#it's just weird bc they seem close like they'll banter with each other and stuff but idk if there's any deep convos actually going on#just. idk. i always feel more fucked up and disabled when im around them. idk how ppl can just Do Stuff#mine#vent#random
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Girl, Interrupted
summary: Eddie crashes by your home when you least expected, but everything happens for a reason, right?
wc: 1.8k
cw: PURE SMUT (MDNI 18+), basically no plot, friends to fwb?, oral (f receiving), Eddie is a tease, fairly bold reader lol, fingering, talk of p in v sex, hair pulling, orgasms idk let me know what else
a/n: my bestie bought me slutty pajamas for my birthday, and since I'm a hypothetical whore, this has been on my mind nonstop. Finally took a break from my spn series to write this down. This is the filthiest thing I've written to date but definitely short and sweet
Eddie’s jaw fell slack as the door opened before him. He knew he shouldn’t have shown up to your place uninvited. Sure, you were his best friend, and of course, you had said he could come over whenever, but that never truly meant unannounced. He was already kicking himself for showing up as late as he did when you opened the door.
Your oh so short pajama shorts were the first thing that caught his eye, how your thighs spilled out beneath them, the cotton begging for relief. His eyes trailed higher to your tank top one size too small. The hem rested just above your midriff, the outline of your hips more prominent than he had ever seen. Your face was flush, pinks and reds lining your cheeks. He fought the urge to pinch himself, scared that he was dreaming, scared that he’d wake up to the absence of you and very real feelings emerging.
“Eddie? What are you doing here?” you asked, your arms crossing over your chest. “I thought you had a date.”
Date, what date? Eddie’s mind was going numb. His brain was flatlining at the mere sight of you, more exposed to him than he’d ever seen you. Fight or flight kicked in, debating on whether to say something or just turn around and leave. He was almost sure he was not supposed to see you in this state.
“I—uhh��it didn’t go well, so I cut it short. But I know you love the place, so I figured I’d bring over the leftovers.”
“Oh, sweet. Thank you.”
Eddie hesitated, scared to ask, but his interest piqued. “Is someone—you’re alone right now, right?”
Your eyebrows pinched together. You exhaled a dry laugh. “Please, I’m always alone. Come in. Tell me about your date.”
You ushered Eddie inside and settled into your couch. You pulled a blanket over you, and Eddie released a sigh. He couldn’t believe the hold you suddenly had on him. It was like he was in high school again, ready to combust at the sight of a shoulder. At least with your legs covered, he was less inclined to think about spreading them.
“Was it really that bad?” you asked, drawing Eddie from his thoughts.
“She was just so boring,” Eddie complained. “Like, there’s nothing wrong with her, but it was like we were from different planets! She didn’t know Metallica! How am I supposed to bond with someone when there’s nothing to relate to?”
“Did you think of showing her?”
“Showing her what?”
“Metallica!” you laughed. “Wouldn’t that be kind of romantic, you know, to introduce that to her? Maybe tell her you’re in a band? It’d be like showing her a whole new world. And maybe you’d get a groupie out of it.”
Eddie swatted at the air. “It’s not worth it. We were both bored. And it was clear she wasn’t looking to rock with a guitarist.”
“Oh, I highly doubt that.”
“You didn’t meet her. She’s pristine, a Chrissy Cunningham type. Meant to be with a lawyer or some shit.”
You leaned in closer to Eddie, your blanket sliding down your thighs. “Those are the girls who fantasize about guys like you the most. Those girls on the straight and narrow, the ones who seemed destined to be sweet stay-at-home moms or perfect career women, those are the ones who dream of just one night doing something they never thought they could. Something so wild that when they’re taking their kids to soccer practice, or their ‘perfect husband’ is asleep on the recliner while they're doing the dishes, they can think back to that wild night when they fucked a rockstar.”
Eddie’s lip trembled as chills coursed through his body. You leaned back against the couch and shrugged like what you said was nothing. You had to be on something, he decided. Never had you been so frank when the topic of sex came up. Your face was still flushed with color, and you couldn’t seem to find a comfortable position on the couch, shifting yourself from one side to the other to no specific rhythm. Heat radiated off of you, though you weren’t known to be the furnace between the two of you. Something struck Eddie as so foreign but so familiar as he took you in.
“Would you fuck a rockstar?” Eddie found himself saying.
Heat rose to your cheeks. “Do I seem like one of those straight-and-narrow girls to you?”
“That’s not what I asked,” Eddie said, a newfound confidence overtaking him. “You came up with that way too fast to act like you don’t think of it, too. So, would you fuck a rockstar?”
You bit your lip and shifted in your seat. You huffed into the couch. “Wouldn’t anyone?”
“Why so shy all of a sudden?” Eddie asked, egging you on. “You’ve been squirming since I got here, sweetheart. Is something on your mind?”
Your eyes trailed from his eyes to his lips, then back to his eyes. “Tonight is not the night to ask me that.”
“Why is that?” Eddie chuckled. “Were you in the middle of something? Was something left unfinished when I so rudely interrupted? And now all you can think about is the ache between your legs?”
You shuddered at his words. “Eddie,” you said, your voice shaking.
“I could help you.” Eddie leaned closer, his words almost a whisper. “Because I may not be a rockstar, but I’m sure I could give you the night of your life.”
Your breath hitched in your throat. “Don’t tease me. It’s not funny.”
“No one’s laughing.” Eddie pulled the blanket back, his hands resting on your thighs. Your legs slightly opened on instinct. “What kind of friend would I be, huh? If I didn’t at least offer?”
Eddie didn’t know where this bravado came from, but he didn’t care. All he knew was the longer you looked at him like that, the harder he got.
You grabbed him by his shirt and forced his lips on yours. Nothing soft or sweet came from your lips. You were needy and desperate, clinging to him like he was the air in your lungs.
The urgency shocked Eddie, but he quickly found your rhythm. He smirked against your lips as he pulled his jacket off. His hands snaked from your thighs to your hips to your ass, lifting you onto his lap. You groaned into his mouth as he rolled you against him.
He was sure he was dreaming now. Only there did he ever picture you above him, grinding your hips into his. Only there did he imagine you moaning from his touch. But never were his dreams this vivid, this real, this fucking good.
He pulled you from him and pushed you back onto the couch. You whined at the loss of contact. He’d never seen your eyes so dark, so lustful, so hungry for him.
He slid down to the floor onto his knees and pulled you to the edge of the couch. “You still want my help, sweetheart?”
You nodded emphatically.
“I need to hear you, baby. Say it.”
“Please help me, Eddie. I need you. Please.”
“Atta girl.”
You lifted yourself up as Eddie pulled your shorts down your legs. Eddie’s cock jumped at the sight of you. He bit his lip to maintain what little composure he had left.
“Aww, your poor little pussy’s just as needy as you, isn’t she?” He spread your knees apart, the cold metal on his fingers sending chills up your spine. The throbbing between your legs only intensified, a small whimper escaping your lips.
Eddie couldn’t wait any longer. There was no time for teasing, no time to explore. You needed him, and he was going to deliver.
He dove into your aching pussy like a man starved. You jumped at the contact, your hands flying to his hair. His tongue worked overtime, kitten-licking your clit before diving in for more.
“You taste so good, sweetheart,” he said, smiling against you. You moaned in response, grabbing a fistful of his hair and pulling him closer.
Your sounds turned him on even more, searching for his own release as he rubbed himself against the couch. His mind was in a daze, in utter disbelief that anyone could look so perfect for him with your legs spread and your back arched. Your chest rose and fell to the rhythm of his tongue, and your lips formed a perfect ‘o’. Oh, how Eddie wanted to feel your lips around his cock. How you’d sink down on him, your perfect innocent mouth being completely sinful just for him.
He placed a finger at your entrance and pumped in and out, his thumb now circling your clit. Your head fell back. “God, yes, Eddie. Just like that.”
“I need you to do something for me, baby,” Eddie said as he added a second finger.
“Wha—what’s that?” you asked, breathless.
“I need you to tell me what you think of when you get off. Tell me what you were thinking of before I showed up at your door.”
“I—I oh god,” you shouted as Eddie’s lips found your clit. “I—I thought about you on your fucking date.”
“Oh fuck,” Eddie groaned into your pussy, the vibrations shooting up your spine.
“I pictured you fucking her from behind, her skirt hiked up to her hips, her panties to the side as you fucked her in front of the bathroom mirror.”
“Fucking C—Christ,” Eddie stuttered, his hips rutting into the couch faster. “Keep going.”
“Then it was me you were fucking. You grabbed me by the hair, so I could watch what you were doing to me,” you said, your voice shaking with every word. “Eddie, please. I’m close. Please.”
“Come on, baby. You can do it. Tell me what I was doing to you.” He was past dreaming at this point. He was sure this was heaven. Hearing your words had him reeling. He didn’t want to stop, didn't know how to stop. He just knew he needed to see you come.
Your lip trembled. “Your hands were all over me, playing with my tits, your lips on my neck, and—and your big cock pounding into me over and oh-ver and—and Fuck! Eddie, don’t stop! Please, please, please!”
Your orgasm crashed down on you, expletives and Eddie’s name on your lips. Eddie continued to pump his fingers in and out of you like a madman as he lapped up your cum.
“Oh god, oh fuck!” he moaned against you.
You pushed his head off of you and caught your breath. Eddie took a breath, too, leaning back against his heels. You pulled him back up to you and kissed him, tasting yourself on your lips.
“That… was so hot,” Eddie said, releasing a breath.
“Can it be my turn to help you?” you asked, looking up at him through your eyelashes.
Eddie’s cheeks rouged slightly, his eyes trailing to the growing wet spot on his jeans. “I had a turn already,” he said, guilt painting his words. He leaned in toward you, a devilish smirk joining his features. “But I’m not done with you. Not yet.”
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...
#i feel like this is something that will never truly heal#whenever i think i'm finally fine or at least better it never lasts#and it's something that's been following me since i was a kid#right now i'm the same little girl crying for the things she cried about when she was eight and all she wanted was to stop feeling alone#it's like no matter what and no matter how hard i try this feeling of emptiness never seems to leave#and i'm already dealing with so much shit right now#i didn't need these thoughts to come back from where i thought i left them a few months ago#but here we are again#and i don't know for how long#lately i've been extra anxious about everything and my head hurts almost every night and i wake up feeling ill and i don't even sleep well#and the sadness keeps coming back every afternoon#because that's all i've ever known and that's all i'm good at#why would anyone want to be around me when i'm just nothing?#why?#why why why?#talking to the wall
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Once again I am wishing I wasn't alive
#suicidal thoughts tw#sorry I've been feeling like this lately but man </3#it sucks looking back at two years ago and seeing how i could just do things whenever I wanted#and now I have to really think about whether or not i can go just thirty minutes down the road#not to mention I can't think of a single reaosn how anyone could love me#who would want to be with someone like me who they'd have to take care of half the time#I'm seriously struggling to find a single reaosn to keep going anymore tbh#and it's not like i can talk to anyone about this#I have learned never to open up about ym mental health to anyone#they'll just think i'm weird and too much and they'll lleave me
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──𐙚 spot me instead- gym jealousy request
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content: gymrat!JK x gymrat!reader, jealousy, public sex, bending over, choking, mirror sex, ass-guy JK, unprotected sex, creampie
note from cherry: i hope that didn't disappoint cloud anonie, i know u said he doesn't do anything until they r alone butttt i rlly like this scanrio!!! LMK IF U WANT A DIFF VERSION ILY
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"Yeah good job on that babe, you're getting so much stronger" jungkook says with a broad smile after you just finished your bicep curls, having upped the weight by 2kgs from to weeks ago
"Thanks" you reply, pressing a kiss to his cheek,
He looks around for a second, hoping to see the same man's eyes watching
That guy had been here for almost all your late night sessions, carefully watching you with that burning gaze of his,
Jungkook isn't a stranger to his girl being oggled at, the gains have been showing after all that work
He did keep an eye out for him though, noting to wrap his arm around your waist more often whenever he was also there
His favorite part about always working out with you was your smile after accomplishing a new set of weights or an extra rep,
His second favorite is the sweaty, flushed look on your face and the way your chest rises in the tiny sport bras you'd wear
He teases you too, sometimes omitting the shirt, sometimes flexing even when it wasn't necessary
Without being able to spot the guy this time, jungkook just resumes his chest press, laying down on the angled bench and watching your plump ass move while you walk off to the back, probably searching for an unoccupied smith machine
He smiles to himself, starting his set like he normally would
However, when he comes back up, his jaw immediately clenches
"Hey, i've seen you 'round here. You look pretty strong" the tall, short haired male says to you
Although kook can't hear the words, the imagine of you in the mirror, smiling while looking up to the muscle mass in front of you is enough to ruin his mood
What is that jerk saying to my woman?
"Ah, thanks" you reply, trying to stay polite when you can see the anger boiling inside jungkook from having caught a little glimpse,
His stare is so strong, you can practically invison his tongue pressing the inside of his cheek, or the way his eyes sharpened
"Anyways, mind spotting me pretty?" the guy asks, a smug smile on his face,
You're about to make a face and dismiss him, your boyfriend however, was way faster
"I'm not usually a fan of guys calling me pretty, but i'd love to spot you"
Jungkook's reply has you trying to hold in a laugh, his broad back in your view, blocking you from the flirty guy's gaze
The guy scoffs, "woah, easy there"
Jungkook steps closer, tilting his chin up to him slightly,
The tone of his voice is stern, so much so that it sounds like a warning, and you just know,
you're gonna get to feel his jealousy pounded into your pussy once this guy left
Knowing Jungkook, he wouldn't mind doing it in front of him either
"Listen, you stop eye fucking my wife and we have no problem, if you talk to her one more time, you're not gonna want to come back here"
Embarrassingly enough that is what it takes for the guy to leave without another word,
It is also enough for the wetness between your legs to rise, probably flooding your light blue leggings with a wet spot between your tighs
"God you're so sexy when you're jealous" you tell him, stepping back to be in front of his Cleary pissed of expression,
You slide an arm down his chest, creeping under the hem of his shirt
"Over to the bench, bend over, you need to he reminded who you belong to" he mutters, landing a harsh smack to your ass,
Not in the mood to piss him off even more, you agree, quickly scooting to the bench
With this time of the night, the small apartment gym wouldn't have any visitors to catch you,
Or so you had hoped, the thrill of it clearly overweighing any and all rationality
You're met with your face in the mirror, folded in half over the angled bench,
Jungkook throws his shirt over to the side, slapping your leggings covered ass once more
"These fucking tight, tiny pants are doing nothing to hide what's mine" he groans, his large palms groping at your cheeks before ripping the leggings down to your knees
He licks his lip as you keep watching him through the mirror, his hands massaging at your ass and smacking it after each soft touch
"You're mine understand? This is my ass, my little cunt, you're all mine"
His hand wanders down to your thigh, slipping between them to rub your clothed entrance with his fingers,
"So fucking wet, i knew you'd like this baby, you just love this don't you?" He says, rubbing his thumb against the soaked material of your underwear before also ripping off your panties,
You moan, head falling down on the edge of the bench,
"Keep watching, see who's gonna fuck you this good" he says, his voice breathy and growly as he spanks your ass once more, having already pulled out his heavy, needy cock from his pants
He pumps it a few times, holding eye contact with you in the mirror, slapping his tip against you a few times
You bite your lip softly, small whimpers leaving your lips while your hands clam around the sides of the bench, eyes almost fallen shut from anticipation,
When he does push himself in, he's merciless, hard thrusts rapidly collding with your skin
"Yeah, take this cock baby, mine, my little pussy" he grunts, slapping your ass repeatedly while you try your best to keep watching his face, twisted in pleasure so beautifully
The bench rocks, lewd slapping sounds echoing around the empty gym,
He keeps pounding into you, harshly fucking his possesiveness into you,
All you can do is moan and take it, too good to even beg for mercy,
Suddenly, when Jungkook reaches that sweet spot right, hitting it with every hard thrust of his hips, you're no longer able to keep your head up,
Jungkook is quick to catch on, his tattooed arm making its way to the front, hand grapping your throat and squeezing it tightly
You let out a loud, strangled moan
"Keep watching who's fucking you so good, keep your eyes on me" he mutters, cursing out under his breath,
Your eyes look back over to the mirror, his buff arms flexing with every muscle, large hand wrapped around your throat and his pumped chest glazing with sweat, all on display for you to admire
Both of you are close, chasing after that knot in your lower stomach to finally burst,
The grip on your throat tightens,
"Say it pretty, who's fucking you this good?"
"You! Jungkook! Jungkook" your voice cries out, cheeks flushed and sweaty while your eyes are in constant connection to his proud gaze in the mirror,
"Thats right baby, who does this little cunt belong to?" he asks again, this time, you need to take a second to reply, your orgasm so so close in reach that it's hard to talk when you're filled to the brim with his thick cock hitting every spot,
"Who's tight little pussy is this?" Jungkook repeats, his groans becoming louder inside your ears
"Yours! Yours kook all yours, fuck please please" you begin to beg,
Once he lets out a last single "fuck..mine.." you can feel his cum filling up your walls, coating you in himself,
His thrusts slowing down with your high coming down on you as well,
Both of you pant, he stops moving his hips and presses a couple kisses to your shoulder, then softly up your neck while removing his hand from your throat
"Mhm.. kook that.. fuck" you breath out with an exhausted chuckle, resting your head on the bench
Jungkook laughs too, spreading your soft cheeks to reveal your swollen cunt leaking with his milky cum, lazily dripping down between your legs
"I know baby.. fuck, you're all mine. Gonna take you home and eat you out yeah? Deserve a nice reward after i was so rough on this pretty girl" his finger reaches down to press on your clit, lips already pressing small kisses on your ass before moving his tongue down to taste himself on you
"You can't imagine how much i love you" you say while moaning softly
#redcherrykook#jungkook fanfic#jeon jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x you#bts jungkook#bts fanfic#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff
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